Can we be happy?

There was a time when we had to fight to live the life we wanted to live. The human race has a long history of revolutions, uprisings and rebellion in the name of freedom. We have fought for the right to choose how we want to live, who we want to marry and how we want to worship. 

We have paid for the price of democracy in blood, pain and suffering. Nobody will forget what mankind has endured at the hands of oppressors at places like Auschwitz and Dachau, or even Robben Island. 

Centuries ago rural dwellers were plundered by rival tribes, their men and children slaughtered and their women raped. So-called civilised nations tore families apart as they "stole" men and women to sell into slavery or train as gladiators to fight in the arenas. Slaves have served masters who saw them as nothing more than possessions, dreaming of a life outside of slavery where once again a man could be his own man, take on a wife, and be treated as an equal in society.

Many of these historical ages ended in bloody regime changes as people rose up against their oppressors to fight for their freedom. Today, freedom is a right in all democracies. Are we, as free people, happier though? 

You go home to the person you love, the one you chose to be with. Are you happy? You are greeted by the children you chose to bring into the world. Are you happy? You sleep in the bed in the house on the land that you purchased with money you earned from a career you chose. Are you happy? 

Is it possible to be happy when you have no nation to fear, no dragon to slay, no oppressor to overthrow? Are we doomed by our insatiable hunger for more of everything in life? Can we ever be happy with what we have right now? Perhaps it's a curse that comes with freedom i.e. we take our lives for granted. Boredom and dissatisfaction soon follow the achievement of our every desires. Do we really have to lose everything to be able to value it? I hope not!

You are free, you have rights, you can choose differently when you so desire. This should make you happy ;-)

Putting your A into G

I had promised to keep this blog updated more regularly, but have been so busy with all my new "midlife crisis" goals, that I just haven't had the time (or the inspiration)! Who knew that kicking your butt into action was so much work? The good news is that I'm having the time of my life doing it. 

Are there goals in life that you haven't yet accomplished? Perhaps you've given up on a dream from long ago but are starting to regret it. Sometimes our lives take a different turn due to circumstances that are beyond our control. Does this mean we can't go back and try again? When are we too old?

So often I hear moms say things like "I don't know who I am anymore" or "I have forgotten what I used to enjoy doing for fun". A close friend told me a few weeks back that she felt like she had tucked the old "me" into a cupboard all these years while raising children and running the home. 

It is quite common to lose ourselves while playing the role of wife and mother. These roles often entail self-sacrifice and result in a loss of identity. It's not too late to reclaim your life. You may find you're not the same person you were, nor do you want to be anymore! You can redefine who you are and what you want out of life. 

Do you feel tired all the time regardless of sleep you're getting, vitamins you're taking or exercising regularly? Do you wake up feeling lethargic and struggling to motivate yourself to face the day? Have you found yourself asking more than once, "is this it?"

You may have a sense that time is running out. You may be feeling frustrated or lacking fulfillment. Take stock of your life, are you living the life you want to live? Facing this truth, is the first step. Doubt will block your efforts. Negative thoughts will blind you to your new path. Stop telling yourself you're too old, it's too late or it will never happen. 

You're older, wiser and most of all, TOUGHER! You can do it!

I'm back!

I cannot believe it's been a month since I last wrote! I apologise and offer several reasons for this. 

Firstly, I have been working on my book, and because it centres around midlife crisis, I thought it best to follow my own advice and shape the book around my experience too. This involves making a few life changes, setting new life goals, and re-adjusting to the temporary chaos that ensues. 

Secondly, we had a break-in over the long weekend, and that has truly unsettled us. The burglary happened out of the tool shed, but they attempted to gain entry to the house as well. When people try to break into your home when you and your children are sleeping in your beds... needless to say we have been pre-occupied with security and trying to sleep at night again!

This has also led to extra expenses, repairing the damage, replacing the stolen goods and reinforcing the security at our home. It's been a mixed bag of emotions ranging from fear to anger. 

Lastly, the children have been on school holidays so I have been trying to spend quality time with them while juggling the demands of work. I hope to get back into some kind of routine this week and will be keeping the blog updated once more. 

Happy week all!

Work in progress

I have been trying to push out my second book for what seems like the longest time. It's worse than waiting for the next Lord of the Rings movie. I just cannot find time to sit down and give it the attention it needs. Not only that, I can't hold a thought for very long either. Read previous post about how motherhood stole my brain!

When I wrote the first draft of my first book I was an honours graduate with no children. When I adjusted it for publishing to the mass market I had two small children but no school runs or homework to supervise. Life was simpler. 

Writing was tricky then, but nowhere near as elusive a task as now. I find myself writing during snatches of time when I'm between jobs. Cue mad interruptions from chatty bosses to pesky emails and telephone calls that need attending to. 

I read my notes while waiting for the children to come out of school. As soon as they jump in the car and start downloading their day's news, my witty, intelligent thoughts on improving my notes fly merrily out the window. I might add here that I have notes and notes and notes, i.e. a car notebook, a bedside notebook, notes on my phone, voice notes on my phone, notes on my office desk... Why? Because my brain is a sieve. 

I still have not been successful at writing after the children have gone to bed because my brain shuts down at 8pm, whether I want it to or not. I can't even read a page from a riveting novel before nodding off. This was a curse I thought reserved only for narcolepsy sufferers. 

When days have lapsed with no writing, it feels like I'm starting over again. I find I have lost my  previous train of thought and thus slows down the momentum I gained. Just when I think I've got my thread and know where my book is going, I lose my way in the dark forest of my mind. 

I can see from my notes that I have repeated myself along the way, obviously forgetting where I was going with my waffling. At some points the book is about one issue, then it takes a turn and becomes all about something else. I find myself asking, what is this book about? I used to know...

My only hope now is that when the manuscript is finally ready for submission, my editor can make sense of it and whip it into shape. Well, she basically cuts it to shreds and instructs me to do rewrites, plenty rewrites! 

Where will I find the time, or brainpower, for that I wonder?

Mothers don't have time to be sick

After my meltdown last week I feel much better, I must admit! Sometimes we need to talk things out, so I fell apart and my husband was there to catch me. Bless him! I took the weekend to CHILL OUT only to come down with a horrible head cold AND stomach flu on top of that! Ugh...

In the last ten years, since having children, I cannot remember ever being sick and taking a sick day. I have had gastro, bronchitis, throat infections, ear infections, and have never been able to take a sick day. I remember when I was in my twenties, an impatient little twerp, and thought I was way too busy to nurse a cold. I became highly agitated if I was sick and was not a good patient at all. I hated being down for too long and tried every natural remedy known to man to speed up the common cold. 

Now I get up at 6am regardless of the hammer nailing my brains to my head. I drag my butt to work, inhale a few cold remedies and work like the world depended on me. What a twit. The school run doesn't wait. The homework supervision doesn't wait. The hungry, needy children don't wait. Nobody waits for Mom to get better, things still have to get done. 

I remember being so sick and delirious with fever but nursing a 3 month old and remembering nothing of it the next day. How did I not drop him? How did I not roll on him? How did I not slip into a coma and forget to feed him? "Welcome to Motherhood", Life said...

This week I looked back and longed to return to my twenties, if only to catch the good old common cold, and take a sick day, darn it take three! I would lie in bed with Vicks and vitamin C at my bedside. I'd watch my favourite series on TV and read a book, oh so many books... I'd check out for a few days, feeling absolutely no guilt over it, and thoroughly enjoy some down time to rest and recuperate. 

Now I'm drooling on my keyboard...